Most babies this age still need at least two
naps a day, from one to three hours each, one in
the morning and the other in the afternoon. In
general, it's best to let your baby sleep as long
as she wants, unless she has trouble falling
asleep at her normal nightly bedtime. If this
becomes a problem, wake her up earlier from her
afternoon nap.
By 4 months your baby should be sleeping
through at least one nighttime feeding and perhaps
through the entire night. "Through the
night" could mean from 7:00 p.m. to 7:00
a.m., or from 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m., depending
on your baby's own internal clock; but at this
age, she should be able to go at least eight hours
without being fed.
Establishing a Bedtime Routine
Because your child is more alert and active
now, she may have trouble winding down at the end
of the day. A consistent bedtime routine will
help. Experiment to see what works best, taking
into consideration both the activities in the rest
of the household and your baby's temperament. A
warm bath, a massage, rocking, a story or lullaby,
soft music, and a breast- or bottle-feeding will
all help relax her and put her in a bedtime mood.
Eventually, she'll associate these activities with
going to sleep, and that will help relax and
soothe her.
Instead of letting your baby fall asleep during
this ritual, settle her in her crib while she's
still awake so she learns to fall asleep on her
own. Gently put her head down, whisper your
good-night, and leave the room. If she cries,
don't rush back in. She may calm down after a few
minutes and fall asleep on her own.
If she's still crying lustily at the end of
five minutes, go in and comfort her for about a
minute, without picking her up, and then leave.
Let her know that you love her and are available
if she needs you, but don't stay in the room. If
she continues to cry, wait a little longer than
five minutes before going back in again to repeat
the sequence. Be consistent and firm. As hard as
this is on you, it's harder on your baby if she
senses you are wavering. The real reward will come
when she awakens in the middle of the night and
goes back to sleep without your help.
Prolonged Crying at Night
Many babies cry some every night, leading
parents to wonder if the prolonged crying can hurt
her psychologically. If you actually time your
baby's crying, you may find that it doesn't last
that long. If parents are steadfast, most babies
will cry less each night until they finally go to
sleep with only a token protest. But even if your
child cries for a long time (20 to 30 minutes),
there is no evidence that she'll be hurt by it.
When a baby wakes up more than once a night,
there may be something disturbing her sleep. If
the child is still sleeping in your room by 6
months, it's time to move her out; she may be
waking up because she hears you or senses your
presence when you're nearby. If she's still in a
bassinet, she's probably feeling cramped; by this
age she needs room to stretch and move in her
sleep, and she should be in a full-size crib with
bumpers to cushion her when she rolls to the
sides. Still another problem may be a room that's
too dark. She needs enough light to reassure
herself that she's in familiar surroundings, and a
simple night-light can solve this problem.
Responding to Prolonged Crying at Night
When your child awakens in the middle of the
night, give her a few minutes to fall back to
sleep before you go to her. Crying that goes on
for more than 20 minutes may need to be checked to
see if there is not some problem (such as a hair
wrapped around the baby's toe), but such
interruptions should be short. Do not stop to
play. The important thing is for you to keep your
perfectly natural feelings of frustration and
anger in check so you can be firm in a calm and
loving way when your baby resists sleep.
If she continues to cry, talk to her and
comfort her, but don't bring her to your bed.
Unless you have reason to believe she's really
hungry (for example, if she fell asleep earlier
than usual and missed a feeding), don't feed her.
As tempting as it may be to calm her down with
food or cuddling in your bed, she'll soon come to
expect these responses when she wakes up at night,
and she won't go back to sleep without them.
Excerpted from Caring
for Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5,
Bantam 1999