Here are the top five lessons all parents can use in order to help their daughters build authentic and long-lasting self-esteem.

1. Praise intellectual, creative and athletic accomplishments. First, these accomplishments take hard work and commitment, qualities we want to cultivate in our children. Second, these activities bring endless rewards to our daughters, throughout the life course. By encouraging these pursuits we are setting up our daughters to build fulfilling lives not based on superficial qualities. It is easy to fall into the trap of praising our girls for being pretty or cute or for wearing a trendy outfit. However, as parents it is important to show our daughters the kinds of accomplishments we really value.

2. Praise displays of kind and egalitarian behaviors. Sometimes parents talk about their daughters, especially during the mean tween years, as people who, if they were roommates, would have their lease terminated. In order to raise the kind of young women we would want to befriend, let alone live with, we need show them that we value congenial behaviors. Grace is about equality, not hierarchy.

3. Provide incentives that are based on factors they can control. For example, instead of offering a reward for earning a particular grade, offer the reward based on how much time they spend studying. Offering incentives for things dependent on the judgment of others sets your daughter up for a lifetime of seeking external validation. Instead, teach her how to develop her own sense of self-worth not beholden to the judgment of others.

4. Promote positive relationships with other girls. Girls need girlfriends. Healthy relationships with peers can greatly strengthen the quality of our daughter's life. Girlfriends can offer support, a springboard for self-reflection and companionship. Destructive patterns of communication -- such as gossiping, teasing, jealousy and comparison -- can be discouraged as we encourage our girls to value and attend to the quality of their friendships.

5. Treat your kids with compassion without projecting your insecurities onto them. Do not try to live vicariously through your daughter, you don't need her success to validate your own insecurities. . Provide a good example for your daughter to emulate.